When I first discovered I was pregnant again, I had hoped it would be a daughter, for I longed for the presence of more feminine energy in our day-to-day lives, and I knew that my first daughter would focus this element sharply. I tried to communicate with her soul before I was ready to take on the responsibility of the awareness forthcoming from such, and so it took a while to become successful. However, I always knew there would be a great bond between us, even more than is usual between a mother and her first daughter, and I was aware of the great fortitude and trust this bond would necessitate.
When Mary became old enough to speak, we had delightful conversations about the natural world about us. I would tell her the names of things, and she would laugh and tell me the meanings of them. For example, “butterfly” was “bird of the flowers,” and “pine nut” was “tasty treat.”
She was always an outspoken girl, as I have mentioned before, and whenever a person showed disrespect to another, she would politely give them “what-for,” with a spark in her eyes, and a clarity of purpose that knew no hesitation.
She was also quite an observant child, and if asked, could report with great detail on the goings-on in the household, including the feelings of those involved, and on the doings in the natural world about us as well. It was a marvelous awareness, indeed.
I also wish to recount her stillness. She could sit for hours at a time, if the situation allowed for it, simply observing the world around her, as well as focusing deep inside herself. This was a trait that would serve her well in her adult life, assisting her fortitude and insight through the challenges to come.
I often wondered whether she knew what she was doing back then, whether she recognized that she was preparing for the future onslaught. It was well I did not ask her, for there were things in the foretelling I already wished I did not know, though certainly they were vitally important preparation for me as well.
I knew when I gave birth to her that the caul of darkness would eventually be lifted from all, and her essence would be there, guiding and supporting this process for eons to come, and announcing its arrival in due course, and with finality.
I despair of expressing all the earthly tales I could communicate about her. Suffice it to say for now that I am her Mother, chorot,* steward and initiator, and I am very grateful for her soul, her essence, here, now and all-ways.
*Chorot indicates first-born in Hebrew.
Reprinted with permission from The Third Mary: 55 Messages for Empowering Truth, Peace & Grace from the Mother of Mary Magdalene, copyright Roslyn McGrath, 2014.
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